A grey christmas
Colorful yet dull
When a dozen paints are mixed
The result is null

I stared at the canvas
At the gloomy tree
Wondering how to fix it
How to make it breathe
But everytime I add color
It dies. It disappears.

I am, the tree, always end up grey.
No matter how much I try.
A barren land, hungry for company.
Lovers, family and friends,
muddy paints, lean, they dry.
Scars cracking on my heart
Maybe life is too much for me.
For a while, I cry.

I ask myself, what should I do?
Stay at rock bottom, Take a break?
give up for a while
Till I am ready again to show?
Climb up alone
Cuz it's the only one way to go?

I will paint.
maybe my only color is grey
But canvas won't say no
Its the closest to what I wish.
Isn't what matter in the end
what I choose to do?