you don't need to blame yourself anymore.
you don't need to chastise yourself anymore.
you don't need to look at the mirror every night and constantly hurt yourself anymore.

because i know that the biggest bully you've always had was a friend who has stabbed you in the back
and you didn't know that it hurts until someone told you that you were bleeding.

the doctor said the injury was a minor one
but he wouldn't know that
because you never told him how the pain feels
neither do your friends
nor your family
because i know you had a habit of lying just to prevent another funeral.

and now, the waves are crashing near the seams.
the sounds they make, they manifest the sins from our gods
but you play deaf still
because you don't know what all of this means.
and so you kept this habit of silence for years
...and years
...and years
until finally you realize, the only person you can't confront was yourself.

i know you have a savior complex,
which is why you try to be everyone's friend;
but even the greatest of heroes still rest and sleep
until they get the soft comfort of a cramp casket

i need you to feel better
i need you to heal
i need you to change so i don't have to take care of you.

i need you to not be afraid of vomiting when you speak.
i need you to realize the only stomachache you should fear of is one from guilt.
because i know that it hurts every time in the night before school.

i see you every time i sleep;
tossing and turning yourself every time you see his face
and the many others that have taunted you.
so, i beg of you to take your medicine
as the world is full of chaos;
greed, lust, gluttony,
they roam the alleyways and streets you walk of
and they will get you when the time comes
when you befriend such fools like fear,

the waves will get bigger
and the wound won't close unless you change
but still, i know you won't listen
because i know you are always stubborn.

but i'll forgive you.
because i know you are still a child.
you didn't need to be scolded
you needed to be held,
to be loved and cared for.

i'll take care of you.

i'll be the cliff you run to when the tides come
and the cliff you jump off from when you want to risk it.

i'll be your medicine,
your soft bed,
your doctor,
and the one who will always accept you for who you are.

you're still confused as to why i'm saying this,
but trust me when i say,
"it'll make sense when you're older."

i love you.