It's now Christmas day and all through the gaff,
No one is joyous, not even a laugh,
Boris has warned us, we've got to beware,
You're lucky you're eating in more than a pair,
The children, excited, all wanted to play,
'cause no one had told them, Santa's stuck in calais,
Mum calls on zoom, I've got dad over Skype,
I wish merry christmas, they say stop talking tripe.
When out in the garden I heard such a din,
The neighbour is out searching deep in my bin,
"oi, go on I said, get out of there"
She stood, resolute, she simply didn't care.
"I'm trying to determine how many people you've got,
And then I need to know if they're family or not"
I waved bye to the turkey and threw it, half cooked.
At the nosy old bird and told her "get plucked"