Your dad hit you and you asked me not to tell anyone. He took two business trips this week to get away from your mom, because he doesn't know what to say to her anymore and you're sitting on her bed next to her at 2 in the morning after a romance movie not knowing what the hell you're supposed to tell her, because your dad asked you to keep secrets too and you don't want her to know more than she has to. Because you love her, and love means protection- it means you'll take all the bullets for her.
But she's been shaking and you don't want to tell her that everything is going to work out, because you don't know that. So you put in another movie and lie next to her, hold her hand when she reaches for you carry the weight of her sadness in your smile. As she falls asleep you let a couple tears slip out that you've been saving since last week when your dad confessed to moving around because he couldn't deal with standing still in a marriage he feels he's been stuck in for eighteen years now. You let yourself break down now.
Your dad hit you and you asked me not to tell anyone. But I'm crying over your mom as I listen to you tell me how helpless she looks with the covers over her lips and her hand still sitting in yours. Your family's falling apart and you asked me not to worry about it. I love you too much but that's not important right now. But it's hard when he's not home and I'm trying everything I can and I don't know what to do anymore, because your dad hit you and you asked me your dad tore your mom's heart out and you asked me your brother's still healing and you asked me you asked me not tell anyone.
And because you asked me to, and because I love you, and because because I am who I am and because we are where we are I won't. I'll just soak up your tears with my skin and hold memories of blessed things over your head so you can look up to something other than the ceilings you trace with your eyes in the dark. I'll pick up your call and I'll start crying when it's disconnected. Because some things in life are just too hard. And I don't want to have to worry about you, but I will because because I am who I am and because we are where we are and because I love you too much.