your name is a poem and a prayer
and I spend hours reflecting on it
and reciting it before bed
whether I hope to memorize it
or use it as an incantation is unclear
I write it out on notebooks
I write it out on scraps of paper
I almost tattoo it in permanent marker
all over my arms
instead I type it on an otherwise blank screen,
checking it for something I missed before
I've read it backwards several times
and I've moved the letters
to spell several phrases,
none of which compares to the original arrangement
I've analyzed your name for just one hint
of the person it labels,
but I find no warning
for a boy with bright eyes
and a brighter smile
who once loved a girl with a now-forgotten laugh
and a freshly wounded heart
I close my eyes
your name is the sigh on my lips
as I finally give in to sleep