I'm trying
with closed fists
and a clenched jaw,
not to hate you
for everything you are,
but I can't make miracles
and I never called myself a saint

I'm doing my best
not to curse your name,
or wish ill upon your head
but the blackness is bubbling up,
and I can't hold it down forever

I'm quietly,
violently
wishing you away,
praying for your non-existence

I'm hoping
you'll just disappear,
where you stand
and dissipate into nothingness

Because I've been nice for too long
and it's my time
to be angry
and spit spite your way,
to hate and to hold
your memory in my mouth,
chew it up good
or swallow it whole,
doesn't matter
either way, you'll become my ****.