years from now
i will look back
at all my summers
and get super nostalgic
probably.

people keep asking me
"so Red...what are you doing this summer?"
and then smile at me
like i have something
exciting to tell.

i *******.
for like
four minutes
until they get bored
and
walk away
because honestly
i have spent this entire summer
staring
at
a
wall
in my bedroom.
not even an interesting wall
outside of my house
...nope.

i have spent this summer
in various ridiculous positions
on my bed
or floor
in front of my laptop
trying to figure out
why this ***** so much
and why i can't
go out anywhere
and why whenever i do
i wish i hadn't.

maybe because
i'm tired of trying to make my life sound
PC
and exciting
when it isn't
and the people that ask
don't really care if it is
anyway
they just want something new to say
around the dinnertable
to more people who don't care if i'm alive or dead
but only care if i'm
lazy
then they'll
talk about me

yeah....
i think i'll just stay
in here.