The panic sloshes messily
Churning my stomach
Scrambling my thoughts
There is nothing left in the here and now
Only past sins and future collapse
Ringing in my ear
Leading me to my downfall
Focus is a thing of the past
Or the present, which I am not
Stuck in an endless loop
Fear and self loathing
Manifesting beneath the surface
Energy unbound
Rattling my cage
Binding my jaw
Descent into blackness
Rotted and festering insides
Disarming my sense and perspective
Til all I can see is the chaos
Of my mind played out in
Every action and reaction
Cause and effect
So it's safer to lock, power down
Do nothing at all
And wait for the inevitable
crumbling
Destined, preordained
The writing was always on the wall
Fingered shakily with blood
From pulled teeth and ripped fingernails
Pleas and curses and promises
Littering walls of self preservation
I built my own crypt
Visitors shall not enter
No peace for the eternally ******
Slumber will not greet me here
This is the beginning of the end