either... desperately seek constipation via pretend (ing) to spill more ink than - by any stretch of the imagination / by a needle ***** too - blood given: it's not exactly paper that's wasted... times are dire... we need toilet paper and not newspapers: or at least let's pretend we would like some coal - otherwise this neon insomnia will bury me in a brrr of brittle cold... but that's just that... nothing new to write so a morning with a ms. amherst of sorts - as you do... when nothing's new... so as i see it... i either sit here and waste a perfectly good wintry morning... pretending to ooze out an aflation... clearly i'm not: brain-fudge-fidgety yes... custard for thought and oozing nuggety gravy too, yes... all that's missing is a rubric / slanting linear of some verbiage baggage (un)like a rhetorician invoking tautology... the air should be refreshing since it rained all night... yes... come to think of it... these legs will give me more ease by being put to use than these fingers - i should have them broken and this "piano" dropped on a fat head of a cow - or something of the sort... besides... from the white tower of havering-atte-bower... to that luminous tower past chigwell i'm guessing in the direction of woodford or i suppose wanstead... but no... it couldn't be the galleon & heronwood hospital... but it just might... a little / more an odd pilgrimage to... circa 1999's summer with the flooding of memory of "someone"... at least a walk that will span the horizon of what i can see... mind you... there's something else... i don't know why i'm invoking a direct addressee with these words... mind i... at first the name seemed appropriate... that these were: aspen trees... they weren't aspen... they're not... and sure as **** i know what an acorn is... and an acorn nor an oak they ain't either... unless you were to walk down... parkway just by Raphael Park... on the corner... this contender to... sierra redwoods... yep... north h'american big trees... sequoias... in havering-county park... oh i'm guessing circa two dozen... i even hoped to stick a jelly-gum to a piece of paper and onto each of these trees to give them quasi nicks'... sequoias... in essex, england... i'm not mistaken but still dumbfounded one of those 'huh?!' moments that's beside awe: awe is not necessary... that much is certain... this had to be written anything had to be written and better still no ink no paper just enough electricity to compete with a coffee-mill's worth of 3 cups / and the kettle that boiled three cups of water... come to think of it... probably less.