and then..
and then..
then, you're standing in the kitchen -
your weight on your left leg,
the fan blades consistently cutting the air,
the irregular mouse-clicks ringing in your ears.
tiny cockroaches hustling about;
pulse throbbing,
vision blurry,
sweltering heat,
thick-fat-scarred-thrawn twirling lines; vertigo.
dingy, yellow t-shirt.
rustling murmurs, dimmed out groans.
smothered, crippled deadwood flesh.
tongue-tied entreats.
head-splitting vertigo.
the boundless horrors -
of one, cold, fathomless minute.

it's cold now.
it's cold, now.
the white-marble floor of barren feuds.
I wish someone were to find me, this night.
tender arms of wordless embrace.
cradled in love, my soulful gambles.
Hold out,
Hold on,
Hold back;
Hold me.
God forbid, I long for thee.
I seek thy flickering emerald eyes,
tracing my lass-shaped solitude - wistfully thine.
to scream with terror -
the blubbering toys,
the warmth of doldrums.
late-November's mourning drizzles,
roadside affections; words in vain.
merci, O darling, merci.
~A