i still *** every
time a thought of
you comes across
my mind but the
*** comes from my tear
ducts instead of my genitalia
and they’re just antibacterial
enzymes: water  ·
salts  ·
antibodies
and lysozomes;

the day you left
all spermatozoa left
my being it was like
the hole you left
in the air was a black
hole shaped exactly like
you,  a vacuum eternally
thirsty for my ****** fluids;

every pore on my body
became a weighty abyss

it’s just the tears
you never find
as pleasing
offerings

so you took your suitcase
and everything i am
in a bag out the door  ·

that moment

reminded me  
when you’d take
out the trash
and thereafter would
be spending the night
trying to put
up with how little
space i left on the
bed
                      
that moment  ·

you were gone
· you were done
but you were
also there still  ·
forever remaining  ·

all at once  ·

that was a really nice
trick you never had
the time to teach me
and so

· that moment

with your back turned  ·
every step
you took was like
lightning
in slow motion

and then there was just
the door so i let the electric
company put my lights
out and spent all our meant-to-be
life savings on candles,
lit them all up  ·
had some champagne  ·
stepped in the tub with my clothes
on after i filled
it with gasoline,
googled good lakes
and lit a cigarette.