In the Process:
Retouching the paint
Of a friendship and
A love,
Once forgotten
But now found.

During that, don't you know!
Something old, Whithered, burnt...
Is now
Found.
Someone old
Brings back a someone even older.
Someone corrupt.
Someone who is cracking me without a word spoken.

I look away, thoughts racing in my skull.
(Indie 100 track!
Vroom,
Speed of sound.
121 gigawatts power this
THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMPing
Heart of mine.

His real and true first lie
Was an L.

So much care-
In a phase of phantom ghosts
Scraping the insides of this skull.

So much thought-
No sleep Sundays,
Running miles into the night.
Glancing onto Monday morning,
Chug some life into my soul
and
Hop on the bus.

So much energy-
Calling me at knifepoint,
200 pills to count
On the cusp of the gorgeous linoleum mattress-
Head cradling cell,
Musical sobs begging me
NOT TO,
Blood seeping into white dishtowels,
and pills...
Down my throat.

Then I hop on the bus.

A was the second lie, fine as silk.
**** my emotions.
I'm done.
Memories are blending into his face.

My whole life is racked with sobs.

That broke me;
A honeycomb humility.

Those words you said, simple but-

I almost left this Earth.

You shrugged it off.

And nowadays I understand.

But dude, I still can't take a pill
Without my brain
Shrinking that tube in my throat-

PTSD:
Throwing knives at walls,
Remembering.