I wanna be sure
everyone tells me I'm right
and deep down I know I am

yet I did love him
once
some time ago

and I believed he loved me too
at some point
he had to... Right?

if I ask I know what he'll say
I always did or I'll always love you
he loves those stereotypical answers

but sometimes I think back
to when we met all those years ago
its funny us so young supposedly had a love so old

or thats what I want to believe
sometimes I think thats why I stayed
because the idea of us was so romantic

I wanted it to be real
I thought if I wanted it enough
I could make it happen

our relationship only worked
if we had our own hidden reality
where we could sneak away

there we looked at the stars
and he didn't explain to me about how the stars are just explosions
he just let me see there beauty like he knows I like

he didn't press me to retain unwanted knowledge
letting me lay there happy with beautiful lights in the sky
letting me live in my innocence bliss

as we grew older
more things happened under the stars
yet not everything he wanted

that's when I started questioning
and when I realized how many secrets
we both kept

and when he was honest
the beauty of everything
shattered into pieces

once my innocence about it all was lost
and though I tried to maintain it
with it went the bliss

and I began to question everything
yet the one I wanted answered most
I never could ask

because those were the ones that would **** it all
and I realized I wasn't happy
and I left to your protest

yet I still never got an answer
but not because of fear of asking
but more because I wouldn't trust your answer

now after so long I see
all my time wasted
and your memories haunting me

this process of forgetting
its just so painstakingly slow
I just want to erase it all

I can't keep this up
I just want you to disappear
because thinking of you hurts so much

thinking of the lies
how you played me for a fool
why I couldn't see what you were becoming

and that burning question still pestering my thoughts
why does it even matter anymore
I'm done I shouldn't care

but I'd be lying to say I didn't
and your the only one who could answer
but is there any way I could trust your answer

maybe writing it down will keep it out of my nightmares
Did you ever truly care about me? or was it all just one big lie?
was I just the stupid blonde girl you thought would be easy?

I know you'd say no
but wouldn't you say no to all those other girls too. how many of us are just lies
I wanna believe I was different. but was i? really?

will I ever know
or will this always haunt me?