In fighting for you
I lost.

I lost the most important
thing worth fighting for
I lost myself.

No longer, carefree, fun loving.
not even close to happy.
I was a mess.

I was hurt, angry, scrambling to retain
anything from us that I could.
I didn't understand.

I looked at myself, I didn't understand what I was
doing, who I was becoming.
I still don't.

I look at you, why did you do what you did
and who did you become because of it
Do you know.

I look at us. and I realize. there is no us.

There is a you, and there is a me and to each
other that is all there can ever be.

Will we ever be happy, without us.

JCM ©  7/11/13