The island of my childhood
No longer exists
I can see the swirling dark pastels
The sunless black sky
And endless blue sea
When I shut my eyes
But I cannot return
And I cannot remember the faces in the trees
I remember treading deep blue
Endless oceans
My head bobbing
Arms flailing
Sickly mother looking on
She was not worried
I wouldn't drown
I couldn't drown
I remember narrow passageways
Sneaking past slumbering crocodiles
I remember fairy lights
In the distance
Always close but out of reach
I remember spider queens weaving
Catching loose carousel horses in webs
Sickly mother sleeps uneasy
I ask to return to the island
To set sail
She weakly says yes of course
And we return
And return
And return
Until the island is no more
Because the island of my childhood
No longer exists
And I can only see its shadow
When I close my eyes.