how many times over have i killed you
every time worst than the last
and with my fingers at your throat
i am my own iconoclast
how many times now have i buried you
before checking for a pulse
i get so reckless in my haste
but never in remorse
how many times now have i turned
i am so good at looking away
when your last breath leaves your chest
i breathe my own sigh, feeling safe

i am the sailor bailing out
every drop that weights me down
the tempest passes for a moment
just to turn itself around