I have loved you with every piece of my soul,
the parts that make up my heart,
the parts I'm not even totally sure how to locate.
I loved you with it all.
Everything within me.
And I knew not just because of the ways our eyes would meet,
or in the times we'd smile as we took turns letting our loved ones know;
"I'm going to marry him/her."
I know because when you broke me you broke all of me.
Pieces I didn't know could carry feelings
Now felt crushed into a million,
Each weighed down by their own pain.
I know because the cliche's
Of girls being unable to eat
and going slightly crazy
No longer were something of a dramatic film.
But an experienced reality straonger than any other thing I've felt.
I was filled with fury,
So sure each part of me was cabale of turning red
Causeing burn to the touch
In the way my body consitantly shook from the adreinalin beneith my skin and the hollowness of my body lacking fuel.
Everything no long being apitising,
Just chores I was told I had to do.
I was angry with every fiber in my being.
In ways I've never felt,
And weren't prepared for.
Because it was you.
It was never meant to be you.
The tears that burnt my skin werent meant to blame you
The torture inflicted was never meant to have you as the cause.
The sleepless nights and workouts at 4am with hopes of exhaustion
Were never meant to be caused by you.
Entering my dreams turning them to nightmares.
It was you.
I was not prepared for it to be.

Because, it was always meant to be you...
Just in every possible alternative way.
It was meant to be you holding me while I cried.
It was meant to be you to fetch the tea.
It was meant to be you to embrace the stillness when words couldnt offer much.
It was meant to be you to chose the songs of emotion and love.
It was meant to be you in every other possible way.

But now I need to learn to know.
Who a person is
And who you thought they could be
Are rarely the same..