As I explored these paths again my head swelled                  
It was always the same places
The same streets and street lamps
and the cold, damp, and dense air hanging over me
Everything is so cold and I know it's my fault
my fault for ruining everything
How can I even apologize?

Is anything ever going to change?
or am I going to walk this maze until my legs give out
and I succumb to these disgusting thoughts clinging
clinging to the veins of my frozen heart
my heart, frozen in time
my heart, broke so many times
my heart, giving its all only for it to rip away
But it's my fault I put my heart through so much pain
It's my fault I put myself through all this self-blame
There has to be a way to fix these broken parts of me
A way to apologize for the pain and despair I've caused
But
How can I even apologize?

but what about my eyes? my eyes can still see, can’t they?
they can see the obvious disappointment
the disappointment that’s all so obvious
I see it
I see it every time
I am astounded by my ability to disappoint
over and over again
I'm sorry to those people
The ones I've disappointed
But there are so many of you
How can I even apologize?