I give to you
to no avail
just to see you forget your life
for a blink or two
for a cup of coffee
but never to change
anything at all

It will never be enough

I do not know what enough is
supposed to look like

“Go big or go home” I like to say -
and so, I have never really been home

If I could move mountains
I would hand-build your paradise
I would strip my bones to frame your view

You could leave all this behind

And the trouble is
that people say
I’m not obliged

Yet here the obligation lies
in my blood and bones
in the existence of my soul

When I am not trying
to move mountains for you
I am tearing myself to shreds inside

And when I think about
how you have felt
all this time,
suddenly
the good things
go

and I have to search
for birds again,
dancing in the clouds

I have to -

because you can’t look up
for birds anymore

Your eyes don’t brighten,
if they ever did -

I didn’t know you then -
I still don’t now