I cant say your name out loud
It makes everything seem too real
I leave the room whenever someone brings you up as a conversation starter
I stop what I am doing someone feels the need to swap my smile for a wounded look by intentionally saying something hurtful
I cant stare at mirrors for too long
I am not sure who I will see in the morning
I dress up to go out but I don’t even make to the second block because my thoughts turn to you
I tell myself today's the day that I'm finally going to finish a project that I started but it moves along so slowly
I think I will finally be able to get behind the wheel but all I end up doing is sitting still not sure what to do or where to go
something is just missing
I think I will finally be able to do without the pills just to get through another day
But I am wrong
Once night time comes along
I stop pretending
My energy seeps away
My motivation evaporates
My composure crumbles
My peace is no more