So another day ends
I Lay awake
the wind howls
finger like branches knock at the windows
I feel lonelier then usual
cinnamon offers very little comfort
but she's fast asleep in her fuchsia coloured doggy bed
the though of filling my insides up with rosy liquid in the harsh light of the television seems depressing
I need something stronger
meditation is off the table
I finished the last of my cigarettes
forgot the lavender oil and bubble bath
on purpose, I think
there is no one to hold me in the midst of all the bubbles and soft glow of tea lights
no one to hold my hands as I am curled up in something of yours with my hair in curlers
just talking about insignificant things
silly things
the small things
I miss it
the sound of your voice
the feel of your touch
your scent
I know you will never come to the phone
you have stopped paying attention to my messages
is it more time that you need?
or have you already made up your mind?