I’ve become addicted to an image,
I could never full grasp,
Heart is hollow,
With my mind spinning,
Running laps.
Wondering how long,
It’ll take for me to collapse.
Don’t tell me to relax,
I thought I was through all this ****,
But it comes back to haunt me,
On medication,
To dull out the empty.
The emptiness that lives inside.
That almost lead me down a path of suicide.
A shame embedded deep inside.
An anxiety that tried to hide.
Within a fake smile.
Telling you that I’m okay.
When I wasn’t.
I’m sorry for that.
My brain has become a tangled web.
And I’m not sure if I can untangle it.
It’s like the Two sides of my soul have been caught up in an entanglement.
****.

Addicted to a fantasy.
That used to look innocent.
Temptation was the ecstasy,
That left me in imprisonment.

Yeah I was addicted to a fantasy.
That used to look innocent.
Wonder I could snap back to reality.
And beat this ****?

It’s like every-time I try to escape,
I end up having a relapse,
Who knew that lust packs a punch?
That has turned my brain to mush,
That is always looking for a rush,
Can this stain on my heart,
Ever be washed?
I ask myself,
As I sit and wonder,
For one can hibernate all they want,
But that doesn’t take away the hunger.
Wish I wasn’t so foolish when I was younger.
For when I look in the mirror now,
All I see is a monster.
Was taught respect women,
Yet here I am an imposter.
That if he’s honest,
Doesn’t even honour himself.
Is told he is amazing and funny.
Yet he can’t see his own wealth.
If only people could see his struggles with mental health.
And the trauma that has been dealt.
Which doesn’t excuse the behaviour,
Of a sinner who is...

Addicted to a fantasy.
That used to look innocent.
Temptation was the ecstasy,
That left me in imprisonment.

Yeah I was addicted to a fantasy.
That used to look innocent.
Wonder I could snap back to reality.
And beat this ****?