There are things about me,
Things that I do.
That makes me hate myself,
when I talk to you.

See you remind me,
That I could get clean.
But addiction is so strong,
When it's methamphetamine.

It's not like any other,
I've done lots of drugs before.
But this stuff is toxic,
I hate it but need more.

Can you even imagine,
What it's like for me?
Hating it every moment,
And wishing to be clean.

Every time I take a hit,
It nearly brings me to tears.
I know it is the reason,
I've missed Lily's first 2 years.

Can I even stop using it?
Want to but don't know I can.
Years of pain I've been numbing,
I just don't understand.

Like every waking moment,
Of my life is nothing but ****.
So as I sit there thinking all this,
I exhale and take one more hit...