Recognize the bad, but focus on the good.

I made the decision long ago to live.
To see past the inky blackness that coated my heart like dried candle wax clinging to my finger.
The crust of agony lingered through every cut on my pale skin.
I wondered myself why I did it.
Why I cut again, and again.

There were battles that I won,
But the war had just begun.
I couldn’t hide underneath the sun
When my hand was reaching out for the gun I wished was there,
But it wasn’t.
Of course Fate wouldn’t play fair.
I didn’t care, when everyone else never gave up on me.
I was *****, and wanted to bathe in misery.

I wanted to be held, and given razor blade kisses.
Wanting a magic lamp to grant my death wishes.
I had no desire to live anymore
When I felt I had nothing to live for.
I knocked on heaven’s door only to walk away when it was opened.
They brought me back, and I had awoken with a bottle of Jack, and a handful of pills.
Lacing them together until I felt still.

I never knew what I’d be giving up by throwing the battle that I fought so long.
Now I see that living has given me the skills to express my thoughts.
Hope can’t be bought.
You have to look for the silver lining, before you consider dying.
I know honesty hurts, and believe me, I know what pain is.
I memorized the definition when I was just a little kid.

For all the times I wanted to die,
Or went to sleep dreaming of knives,
Never wanting to open my eyes ever again.
Writing the letters saying fair well.
Wish me luck on my journey to hell.
I’d burn, and enjoy the hurt,
Because I deserved the pain.
On my headstone tell one last tale.
Of how an angel fell, when he was promised the world.
Never waking up from one last dream.
With the image of a silver gleam running through his mind
As the blood made a line on his wrist,

But over time I rose against the pain.
I know there are those reading this that have felt the same.
Like they’re walking through a frozen desert, forgetting their name.
Playing the game of life, and losing.
Forgetting their path is that of their choosing.
Lift up your head.
You heard what I said.
Meet my eyes, honest, and true.
The world wouldn’t be the same if we lost you.