Scabbed scalp
Broken glasses
Scratches
Bruises
And missing hair patches

You yelled
Screamed
Blamed me
For what was not my fault
Why wouldn't you listen?

Why instead did you
Slap me
Rip out my hair
Demonize me
Hurt me

You wouldn't let go so I
Scratched
Bit
Dug in my nails
Drew blood
Anything to get away
From you

Thank God your sister stepped in.
Thank God she saved me from you.
Thank God she put you in your place.
Thank God.
But then?
You said you wanted to apologize
But that isnt what I saw
Or maybe I was blinded
By your big glowing gaslight..

Its one thing to demonize,
To make me the monster

Its one thing to scream in my face

Its one thing to tear me down with your words

And its one thing to physically hurt me

But its a whole other thing to tell me
That you hurting me
In all those ways
Was my fault
Instead of taking responsibility
Like a ******* adult

Making your ADULT child
Absolutely TERRIFIED
To be near you?

That's your fault.

So don't give me those big sad eyes
When I tell you "don't touch me"
Or I refuse a hug

This is your fault.

So now
I'm keeping my distance
Until I recover
From what YOU did.

The dried blood on my head
The missing hair
The migraine

The eyes that hurt from crying
The voice that hurts from trying
To get you to understand
That you've punished me enough
And not just with your hands
And that what happened
Was not my fault.

..when I woke up from nightmares
Of my abusers years before
You comforted me and said
"You're safe, theyre not here anymore"
I think about it now and then
Only to realize you're wrong
You're just like them.