i opened the door, expecting mail only for my parents. but there was a package. with my name on it. i thought i recognize the handwriting but i must've been wrong. no one ever sent me letters, let alone packages.

i put it down on the table and opened it. inside was a CD case and an envelope.
i grabbed my old, decrepit CD player from my room and stuck in the CD. my favorite song blasted from the speakers. becoming more and more curious i opened the envelope.
i did recognize the handwriting.
i sat down and read the messy handwriting that i knew so well.

this is for you. and for me i guess.
im sorry i **** at openings. so i'll just start the letter.

you know that time i was over your house and you had to clean your room? so you left me with a computer? well i went on your itunes account and put some of your music on my phone so i could make this for you. a mixtape. im **** at telling people how i feel, so i do it through music. and i know you dont like the kind of music i like, so i used yours. (dont hate me for that) i made this to try and tell you all that im feeling. its quite random. but i tried to cover each and every one of my feelings. and i think it worked out pretty well. some are sad, some are angry, some are sentimental, like i said its random. but its my feelings. i hope you like it. its the first time i've ever made one of these so im sorry if its bad.

i put the letter on the table and my head in my hands.

when i went to pick it up, another piece of paper fell onto the floor. i picked it up, the handwriting the same as the other piece of paper in my hand.  i sat down again and sighed as i began to read.

P.S. i know it was a mutual descsion to, to be apart i guess. and i know we needed space. but i have one thing to say. i still love you. i always did. i always will. ever since i first saw you at the campground, i loved you. i never knew love at first sight existed until i saw you. i remember the exact moment i first saw you and fell in love. it was that night i was with your brother. you came over and asked him to do something. i dont know what you said, all i can remember is looking at you and my lungs caving in. your hair was in ponytail but the ends were thrown over your shoulder, just enough so i could see the blue. faded blue, but you wore it perfectly. i remember watching you walk away. my eyes following your every curve. trying to memorize it because i thought i would never get to see you again. and then that night. after your shower i guess. i saw you. then you went into your campsite and my heart almost jumped out of my chest. you were so close.
i watched you everyday. and i know you watched me too.
and i know i hurt you when i flirt with your cousin. it was stupid. i just didnt know how to get you attention. so i thought flirting with someone else would. and i know i hurt her too, because she thought i liked her. it was the stupidest thing i've ever done and i wont ever do it again.
i just wanted you to know all of this because i know i never told you any of this. i love you. always will. i just wanted you to know.
love, L

i just put the paper down and cried.