Going out to the club
I know I'm going to have a good time
I just know it
I'm attractive
Muscular
In the best shape of my life
I have brown puppy dog eyes
And a face to compliment it
Yup off to the club
Cause I know I'm gonna hit that

Using what I learned
I'm all ready to get it at the club
Walk up to a girl say
"What up I got a big ****"
She slapped me in the face
Not a smooth attempt
But I'll get it next time!

Moving on to the next girl
Her eyes look at me
Like a seductive tigress
Fierce
Predatory
Hot
Oh yeah this is happenin'

"Hey girl how you doin?"
"Doin' fine big boy!  How 'bout yourself?"
"Doin' **** baby doll!  You be lookin' hot!"
"You not lookin' so bad yourself big boy!"
"**** straight!  Care to dance?"
"Pssh!  No one be dancing yet!  No one be drunk yet!"
"Who needs to be drunk!?"
"Well I do.  Why don't you buy me a drink big boy?"
"I don't drink and neither should you!"
And that's when she turned away uninterested
Ignoring me for the rest of the night
Who needs her
We don't need alcohol!

Turns out to have a good time
We need alcohol
Cause no one else acts clearly
But I can't drink!
Not out of religion!
Or the law!
Just can't not my thing
So far having a miserable time

I'm a sweaty mess
Not hitting any girls
It was fun when they were sober
Because now they lose their attitudes
All inhibitions are off
All are now the same personality

Now they begin to dance
Guys move behind them
***** rubbing ****
**** rubbing *****
Faster
Faster
Faster
***** pumping out
Flying everywhere
*** on guy
In the pant crotch area
The club smells like sweat and ***** and alcohol

The more good times they have
The drunker they get
The more they seem to drift off
What they gain in ****
I lose in fun

"I wanna *******!"
"Excuse me?"
"I wanna ******* big boy!"
"Sorry I'm not in the mood."
"How big is that ****?"
I'm hard
Why am I hard?
**** I shouldn't be hard!
"Ooo you're big, I wanna ****!"

Everything I came here for
In front of me
But it's wrong!
She's wasted!
I can't do this!
Why didn't this happen earlier!
But I wanna ****!
I should do it anyway!
"Give me an answer babe!  Yes or no."
Spinning spinning I have to say it

"No.... I can't, you're drunk"
"Hell yeah I'm drunk!  Take advantage of me!"
"Please don't.  I honestly have no idea what I'm doing"
"I'm gonna go dance with someone else"
"******* man!  You're *******!"
And ***** is now on my shirt
That is just great

Get home from club
Think about my chances of getting laid
Then realize that maybe that that isn't what I wanted in the first place
Maybe that lifestyle isn't me
Even if I wanted it to be
For just a night
Probably good that it isn't
Cause I'd **** at it