I count every calorie,
I just want to be small.
In recovery for 3 years,
gained a lot.

My demons started screaming,
look at how big you have gotten.
Are you stupid? 130 lbs.
look at your hips you look disgusting.

No amount of yelling back could shut them up.
Went to the store and bought some pills.
Stopped eating in that moment.
Slowly started losing the weight.

The screaming refused to stop,
You're still fat, fix it.
More and more pills,
less and less food.

52 hours and all I've had is water and pills.