I cant get up. Im sinking. Im dissappearing. I feel almost nothing. I am not myself. But why does this feel like a fight. Isn't this what I wanted for so long... to dissappear. I've hated myself every waking second of my life it feels like, and now that I am no longer myself, and no longer know who that person was I hate myself even more. Im stuck. Im trapped. Nothing changes. Always in a loop. I can't get up.