.i need to be dissatisfied with these words... they are so bothersome that... i'm yet to begin a what... a where... an anywhere to claim suggestions of my claim being adamant.

a candle for the pagan gods: in their wake...
for no reason other than
to somehow tread on ground
of borrowing inspiration...

i was called today by some incognito
clerk in a factory of voice...
she wanted to speak to
a mr. "x"... i implored for the first name...
ma-
       i can't pronounce it...

mateusz -
i should have taught her a little
instead of putting the phone done
immediately:
after all... she was going to sell me
life insurance...
i'm not a gambling man:
i don't gamble on horses,
i don't gamble on football teams...
las vegas would still be
a desert if i had my way...

              i could have taught her
a little: not that it matter:
or that i could claim to be colour blind...
i guess if you have experienced
the onomatopoeia of sounds
from a mouth who's **** is being
****** you'll be able to invite
any known stressors relating to "race":

michelle obama's black and brown...
my own?
chocolate, cinnamon,
a tease of cumin / coriander -
opaque: matted sort of hues...
glistening keynyan oily
marooned esque tamarind concentrated...

in madame bovary flaubert wrote
of a chemist's preference for
blondes... brunette...
let's go all out bonkers when it comes
to interracial mingling
utilising these architectural borrows:
a house is a *****
a stadium etc.
                   the limping phallus
of an obelix or statue or a skyscraper...

i knew i was talking to a gooey
tanning of khaki skin...
   it's not important in that it is important
for the descriptive addition...
i can't see the anglo-saxon way
completely...
  i like the addition of
sacrosanct  / immoveable details
of objects...

the middle ground: details of character
and personality...
to the point where there's a veil
quasi-n.p.c.
                i think it's important
that i'm hardly white:
       extremely: rubbing gammon
pink raw fetish
but given enough sunrises
and sunsets and summers:
i'm ol' iberian fake tan h'arab...
that's me...
                  black of what black...
after having ****** one:
with enough cocktails and wise
choice of music...
             interracial that it was...
here's me wishing to...
what frankenstein never did:
investing human *****
in a body of a wolf... at best an ape...
for kicks!
if i had enough money
and enough seclusion...
do you think i wouldn't want
to attempt this experiment?

her name was lisa but i know
she had the voice of a tinge more
fuller than mine...
you can tell what race speaks:
sometimes these cues...

ask the extremes...
a choir of Ursules: *** vox sanguinis Ursule...
and a baptist church choir...
you know who's singing...

the jewish dogs of genocide...
such shadow paths...
nothing to really celebrate...
and yet from the slave trade...
such exceptions to rules:
the voices of blacks: celebrated in song...
their ability to borrow instruments
from a classical period and turn them
into jazz... celebrated...
all the physical prowess of the "blackies"
celebrated in sport...
the hebrews?
who's celebrating the... voices
of the 'ebrews?
             singing broken-*******
at a ******* Bar Mitzvah?!
pseudo-castrato?!
this... this is where shadows give birth
to labyrinths...
they were not subjected
to genocide... yet they...
feel inclined to believe that:
they have been...
since... as ever... a small minority rises
to the top...
and doesn't possess the will
of the people etc. *******...

king Casimir could have been
****** by the nazis...
for giving them:
shaky grounds to settle on...
1410 and still these dumb-polacks
who converted to catholicism
400 years prior
wed their ***** of a bride
to a pagan lithuanian king...

that by 1410 there was still a pocket
of paganism in europe...
so large it required a teutonic mass
and the first postal service
to conquer it...
that some dumb polacks
stood their ground...
would be later shamed for dealings
with the ukrainians...
because: hell... the bands of UPA...
honestly?
the flag does it justice...
not this pristine: blue above and yellow
below...
red above... black below...

for some reason i seem to be
bombarded with history snippets...
mind you... years in an english catholic school
and the best we got was...
the end of anglo-saxon england...
philip augustus of the capetians...
oh most certainly:
fixture detailing edward the confessor...
it's not like we didn't
learn a "censored" history...
i suppose i have to learn "my" own...

but... in all... honesty?
i'm going against the hoarders...
those who hoard history rarely
allow anyone to learn anything from it...
therefore, it just so happens...
that it might have to be repeated...

i should just asked:
can you replace that Z with a H...
wouldn't that help:
mateush?

           it's hardly a special...
math-of-few...
for few for everyone...
i just want to hear all that baptist
soul
from the depths of auschwitz...
ceelo green: music to my soul...
a slave with gangrene blues
in shackles... later celebrated:
but of course... the suspect
hebrew intellect... as ever...

   it's not so visible it's not a singing
voice... it's not a body readied for
the hunt or some basket and ball...
and the dangling aztec project of loop loop
let's grow some gold...
i imagine the best ****-buddies...
though...
she would tell me...
i will keep you forever...
i will ease up the ******* strain too...
but i promise you:
i will never let go...
hell! i'd be like... Elisheba!
      i'll give up my ******* for that
sort of love...
i just imagine:
the day i was married to a god
to a woman to a monogamy holy swan
project... i'd have my ******* turned
into a snippet of "history"...
  
i did have a cultish idea only two days
ago on my usual quasi-marathon...
one will never walk with one's head
covered beneath trees...
one will always take off one's hood
one will always take off one's kippah
when walking beneath trees...
oh imagine! the sunlight and the cranium
of all these crows of trees!

i have to imagine such cultish quirks...
i'm not yet reconverted to my abandoned
catholicism...
little chance of that...
if i were pleading for a church wedding...
i'd be required a confirmation...
me? i'd much rather...
ahem... to be circumcised when
wedding someone...
all the ******* in the world
and cocktails of *****...

   here i was listening to some saint Ursula
chants... now i'm back
listening to: cee lo green's music to my soul...
any music from aushwitz?
any... wumpscut:?
any bunkertor sieben!

oi oi! here's a bunch that just wants
to talk and randomly chant
bogus rhymes!
   d.j.! give us the blooooooz-snooooooze!

Hannah? how is that?
         any sha! schtill! gaining pop frequency
status?!
           not enough Palestinian
paint-on plum
hit targets... not enough
experienced collateral?
counter the suicide squad...
  my pike! my pike's your pike!
oh no no... your pike's my dracula!
my ottoman keeper...
romanian... sloth for words...
loves his toothpicks with a bite first...
canopy expert... or so i heard...

this felicity thrill of language going
south of: westminster...
yes... the south of London:
some people do desire... staging
a... what's two weeks called?
formally? a fortnight... ah...
     honeymoons' a ******* sweeper...

either a blyck ******* the burner of my ribcage
of a...
sacred hebrew pride...
one which would come with
a leash
and i would lose the ability to *******:
one who i would wed
to be circumcised...

unicorns and siamese twin serial killers!
bright with a fire of dance
from a "blackened" voice -
the entire angelic choir has to be:
"bleak": blyck... bLACK...
you ******* are pushing
the ****** can down some "other"
avenue of: pseudo-somali ***-par...
ethiopian...

your voices are better inscribed
in song... to have this lackey body
take to jig than anything:
spontaneously animated:
but like the riddle for the rest
of us... the no man's land
of average achievers...

             for those of us who
woken up with your voices in
our heads...
and bodies disembodied...
sacrificed to the rhythm...
to having to face this
sterile environment of
lacklustre...
these bombs of well assured...
verbiage comforts
peppered with grecian prefixes...

but it's one thing to play basketball
with me...
quiet another: and i play the opposing
"team's" nuances:
i'm supposed to feed
this green hydra of jealousy...
it was never about the heart
of Macbeth...
i was always supposed
to earn the earnest of a progeny...

what songs from aushwitz?!
from the sentenced to a dodo project...
not kept as slaves that
would otherwise tier their toll
above mere stature of plumbing:
god... i have a beard...
it will never "miraculously"
turn into a ******* violin
whether or not i fiddle with it...

a tier above the english moors...
there's this fibrous land of the scots...
i have lived in edinburgh..
but i am not deceived by
th deserving comforts it provided...

the blacks feel outrage...
for being slaves... while the jews
sloth... in sullentry:
for being subjected to a genocide...
makes the mind boggle
and ask for a wilderness...
who is to become this...
voicerous exemplar!

not listening to the h'american project...
i would had i...
enough anglo-saxon boiling blood
in me...

come: revise me...
i am yet to find myself astouded
from the output of those living:
as i cower for inspiration
and grace of those
bound to the serenity...
of all things passed...

        from among the living i am...
lasting with concern for
mountains foddling
when egg-shells are
crushed with
the graces of ballerinas...
but not! stampedes of wilderbeasts!

this is now! this borrowed
time i have to imitate grief
for the liberals...
bleach me! have me scare
a sacred ritual of time...
                 i will, have... retained...
my... feet! the people and their
democracy can have their sway
and their own litanies:
their ditto-heads
and what's awaiting:
their cannibalism: self-proclaimed
redemption into reclusion...
but i, will, have... my feet...
with which to walk... and imitate:
ploughing a field...
i will have the wind for music!

i will have all these subtle intricacies:
for concern of detail:
i will not find myself
celebrated... hardly: that i must...
i will not have been
born from this hearth
from this... gladly besotten
first of breath... not so...
gladly inquiring their posit
of rooting...

let's just speak plain...
among the poets...
the priests... the prostitutes...
and the hebrews...
i of a 6ft2 and bulwark
form... could... compensate...
and the psychiatrists...
as a child i did have
a wild idea...
to procreate human *****
with monkeys...
with wolves...
and wait for the results...

             it's not like interracial
adverts for these newly achieved status
quo utopia bid me any luck...
a nigel: or a forkin' callin' it "inns"...
once you have had your
interracial: and all that ******* rattle...
there's no thai surprise
or a japanese porcelain "girl"...

enough of a walk come tomorrow
and enough sleep: promise me!
no dreaming architecture!
i don't like pretending / faking
death with sleep with
promises of disguises stolen light...
with the creases of grieving for
dreams...
it's enough that i have an over-worked
sympathy for the faculty of memory
and all that cameo cinema...
forget me attempting sleep
with an advent of dreams.