The pleasure of leisure truly evanescent in fact An albatross around my neck A spectre ?. Possibly. Tell me ........ How can i say it doesnt exist to me ? I used to gage fondess for me with it . Its utterly useless to even try to deny One free second You watch and see.minum one person I lean back begin to smile Appear ing out of thin air Casting aspersions into my characture And most of them i have heavily carried And they knowing compounded With the fact that they know That i done so without And did so without made a mention Oh wow .......forgive me Oh how i so utterly In this muse have need Out Of an absolutely violent desperation. Please. I am cryptic and eclectic and use long runon sentencing and get side tracted and make up my own words that noone understands yet .........my poetry may seem incomplete and i have a tendency to sound pornographic one min then morose the next Wait Please dont stop reading . Im really really really hoping that someone, at the least one person gets me. In the apex of my , .....what began as a pretty thought, i thought !....... I thought i would let it out and just free style 4 a minute. And without fail i went from pretty to petty Petty to pitty Pity complain Complain to whine Whine to rant . I cant or maybe ....... Imagine how.......oh yes i can . Wuz on the cusp of somehow goin pornographic But i didnt . Suddenly a smile on my face and i laugh at myself With myself A slap in the face with a ironic epiphany Perfectly balancing my life an giving insight to ponder As my anger increased from my subject matter. One could only think " ok ya lost me Here we go again" Then i realize the one thing i need is one friend or acquaintance Or anyone who could prove my petty theory wrong By doin whatever it was they were doing . Without "the look" or the "well are you gonna help.? " I know youre sick or back is injured , But cmon you could do somethin. Light bulb ....flash bulb Realization . Me ..........i am the exact uber opposite to the extreme. I mean most all the time its what i do to unwind I go an do things for people in need or not Just doing good works and asking for nothing in return I feel is what the world needs I love to do it as a surprise but at the least Never ask for help Thats just me .no one gets me in the fact that i......working . Full filling there needs allows me to coalesce and heal. It seems i needed to write to right the wrongs i see In order for me to see the quality of me and see that i am being the change i want to see and another reason to love me more Now i sound concieted