I grew up the daughter whose mother
Didn't want her.
The daughter of an alcoholic.
A melancholy teenager.
Whose mother told her daily,
Just how useless she was.
How much better she should be.
I grew up the daughter of the angry town drunk.
Whose words were like knives,
Directed at my jugular.
I grew up with the towns expectation,
I'd never go anywhere.
Doomed to follow in the haphazard footsteps of my mother.
I was raised to love the woman who told me,
I wasn't worth a ****.
I grew up taking care of the woman who never wanted me.
Putting out lit cigarettes that had fallen from her
Passed out fingers.
I grew up the daughter of a mother,
who never should have had children.
On more nights then not the target for her drunken rage.
I grew up the daughter of a woman who hated herself so much,
She made sure I hated myself too.
I grew up the daughter of a pitiful woman,
Who despite it all I still love.
I grew up in a life so damaged so early on and for so long,
I never thought I'd make it out alive.
But,
I grew up,
To be nothing like the woman who made me.