I wonder if its wrong to hide my pain with all this laughing Often when I'm smiling I'm truly only masking The way i want to hurt myself for what I feel I'm lacking No control of these emotions which are all just overlapping And so clearly overflowing Maybe all this pain is just sign for me, showing That I can't forgive myself for the self harm i committed knowing That it slow my progess down and keep me from ever growing I was a liar and an addict Went from "happy days" to static It was only a matter of seconds for me to develop a habit I've tried to move on, almost every day in fact But I'll hate myself till the end for this devilish little pact That I made with a pipe that scorched my soul black I will always be this creature that can't ever escape it's past