what if I just
put my phone down for the night?
what if I just set my alarm and put my phone next to my bed
and brushed my teeth without a video playing?
without scrolling. without music. without a distraction.
what if I just looked at the real room that’s in front of me?
I have a small blanket acting as a curtain over my window, and from behind it I can hear the rustling of leaves in the autumn wind. it’s autumn. it’s October. it’s my favorite season. I don’t think about things like that when I’m desperately trying to distract myself with a complication or vlog or playlist.
I am now so curious. I used to go my every waking hour without this phone in my hand - and now I don’t want to be without it.
I can’t even do a load of laundry without trying to find a video to watch first.
but what if I were to go without it?
can I even imagine the colors I would see? the sounds I would hear? the things I would notice?
it’s such a beautiful, romantic, captivating world. I have a feeling if I opened myself up to it, it would wrap me in its arms and serve me well. the crickets and wind would lull me to sleep; the rising sun would kiss me good morning. The coolness of the early hours would make my skin tingle, and the walls of this house might look completely new.
I can imagine all the still moments I would get caught up in, noticing the drip of a faucet, my cat crossing the room, the sway of the porch swing. I might notice my breathing too, or the way my hair falls on my shoulder, or listen to the clearing of my own throat with full attention and intention. reaching out and holding something with two free hands.
what if I did that?