Have you ever had an enduring dream about a person you hate?
Isn't it just the absolute worst?
You remember them like you're together, out on a date.
But it's horrible and you just feel so overwhelmingly sad.
You get wrapped up in them for a couple moments and it all seems okay.
But the pain flushes through. It pervades.
You remember every horrible thing about them that hasn't happened yet.
And you can't bring yourself to stop.
You can't make yourself break away from them.
And then they set you off. They tell you they're concerned because you're just standing around in the middle of the plaza breaking down for each and every time they hurt you all at once and they have the nerve to ask you if you're okay and you can't scream at them like you want to and tell them how ****** up you are now that they sought personally to your destruction as a happy person with goals and dreams and ambitions and every second that goes by you don't know whether to punch them or kiss them and you just want it all to end so you never have to go to sleep again.
And then you wake up with a fresh reminder of why you hate your life and always feel so alone. And the harsh reality that you can never make up AND settle your score.
And the possibility that neither will happen.
And the fact that you will always be damaged in some way.

I really hate love.