9:00 p.m.
walk into the kitchen
open freezer door
no dinner tonight
what a shame

open door
sit down on doorstep
cautious of the fire escape
feel the chilled rain
fold arms over knees
reply to text message

watch neighbors take a smoke
look at the open door
lights flicker in the alley I'm in
cars driving by
wipe the rain off of arms

watch tv through neighbor's window
hope he doesn't let out his dog
think of climbing out on roof
but there are puddles everywhere
tears stay separate from the rain

think about my failures
remember mother walking off screaming
paraphrasing her words
only to mean it's my fault
but it is

feel so pathetic
stomach unhappy not to be fed
compose poem in my head
see shadow in the doorway
watch the people walk beneath me

stand up shivering from the wetness
open the door
take a deep breath
wipe away the tears
walk back into the kitchen

grab a bagel
make some cereal
dwell on today
eat the food
bite by bite
step by step