Sometimes,
I wonder what would happen if I waltzed into the river
when the waters dance with polar whitecaps.
Watching ghosts replay the night
I see myself in a trance, a dead gaze
treading barefoot to the empty dock
loose shirt and stripped pajamas
eyes closed
silently counting.
One leg is swallowed into the blue
the other follows.
Kissing chills seep into my shorn armor
and lap into my openings.
"I am selfish,"
the water records
my last words
Floating, a feeling once reserved for bliss
exchanged for an eternal abyss
"I am selfish" I pray, falling asleep under cloudless skies
Darkness closes then I am blind.

They said they found her blue on the sandy broken shore.
The oyster kissed girl, open brown eyes
***** hair laid wildly with the grains.
Palms and lips, cruel and cerulean.
They say, "She was bright," a starless night.
"Had she stayed, she could've moved mountains with all her might."
"But she prayed for God to take her away,
no more waking up to see another day."