Sep 2020
I have so much to write.
But writers block is suffocating my writing process.
My mind swarms with so many things to say.
Yet I can't put it to words and it's getting to me.
This is isn't my first rodeo with writers block,
So by now I should know how to break out of this dark hole.
Yet here I am, feeling empty and less whole.
Poetry has always been my form of expression and here I am
Stuck.
But we're going to push it.
This week has been testing me emotionally.
And **** it, writers block won't win this mental war.
My writing won't be up to par,
But it will be my writing.
Emotional test number 1.
I'm getting attention from the opposite gender.
It's as if I'm suddenly in their rader.
Which I can understand to some extent but if you've spent a lot of your life in a specific environment that stayed stagnant.
A sudden change is, overwhelming.
So here I am,
Men staring,
Mouths watering,
Minds wandering away to devouring me.
I can see the lust in their eyes and I guess it's because I look more mature now?
I don't know, its uncomfortable.
I don't know how so many women have to go through feeling like this, especially at their place of work.
Getting some questionable compliments.
And some downright inappropriate snide remarks.
I'm not enjoying it one bit.
And before someone gets to commenting on how I dress, Friday is causal Friday and I wear the baggiest **** ever.
It's weird
And extremely uncomfortable. To be in such a situation.
I hate it.
Especially because the female human resources manager that is supposed to protect the staff at all cost or as far as her work powers allow her to protect is never around.
I don't like it one bit.
I don't like feeling uncomfortable and scared in my work environment because my colleagues and Superiors find me attractive.
Anyway.
WEIRD THING NUMBER 2
I just have to make it in capitals because my heart feels dribbled.
And unlike Football, no one is enjoying the show.
It's just a disaster.
But that's for another day
But writers block is suffocating my writing process.
My mind swarms with so many things to say.
Yet I can't put it to words and it's getting to me.
This is isn't my first rodeo with writers block,
So by now I should know how to break out of this dark hole.
Yet here I am, feeling empty and less whole.
Poetry has always been my form of expression and here I am
Stuck.
But we're going to push it.
This week has been testing me emotionally.
And **** it, writers block won't win this mental war.
My writing won't be up to par,
But it will be my writing.
Emotional test number 1.
I'm getting attention from the opposite gender.
It's as if I'm suddenly in their rader.
Which I can understand to some extent but if you've spent a lot of your life in a specific environment that stayed stagnant.
A sudden change is, overwhelming.
So here I am,
Men staring,
Mouths watering,
Minds wandering away to devouring me.
I can see the lust in their eyes and I guess it's because I look more mature now?
I don't know, its uncomfortable.
I don't know how so many women have to go through feeling like this, especially at their place of work.
Getting some questionable compliments.
And some downright inappropriate snide remarks.
I'm not enjoying it one bit.
And before someone gets to commenting on how I dress, Friday is causal Friday and I wear the baggiest **** ever.
It's weird
And extremely uncomfortable. To be in such a situation.
I hate it.
Especially because the female human resources manager that is supposed to protect the staff at all cost or as far as her work powers allow her to protect is never around.
I don't like it one bit.
I don't like feeling uncomfortable and scared in my work environment because my colleagues and Superiors find me attractive.
Anyway.
WEIRD THING NUMBER 2
I just have to make it in capitals because my heart feels dribbled.
And unlike Football, no one is enjoying the show.
It's just a disaster.
But that's for another day
