This isn't a poem... just some thoughts for the day.

Hi, I’m Kairee.

I have anxiety sometimes.

But am I really allowed to say that

if I’ve never sought help for it?

I googled the definition of “anxiety” today.

Google told me it’s self-diagnosable.

That reassured me.

To be honest,

I want help,

but mental health isn’t so important to our society,

and my insurance won’t cover it.

I can’t afford a hundred dollar appointment

once a week or every other week,

especially if it’s going to take months

or years

to crack me open.

Basically,

when a piece

or many pieces

of my life feel out of my control,

I can’t breathe.

I feel like everything inside me is going to explode.

I feel crazy.

I need something to latch onto

to stop my head from spinning.

That thing is usually work.

Today,

I went to work.

And now I feel okay.

I guess that will continue

until the next time this happens.

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