I laid there watching you upon the screen
My slight buzz increasing with small sips
With wine goggles on you were even more pristine
and then these words released from my lips

Oh Jake Gyllenhall
Why are you so much prettier than everyone
No one compares to your hair swoosh
Just by your outstanding appearance alone you've won  
You're sweet personality makes all other males look like a ******
Why can't the men I see resemble you?
Your scruffy beard gives me butterflies
From the first moment I heard your voice my love for you grew
Sadly no one can compare so I will have to compromise

And as I closed my eyes I only thought of you
Oh Jake Gyllenhaal if only I was someone you knew