Sep 2020
I died yesterday. The pain was worse than I thought it would be. They say it will be different but it’s not. I’m here to tell you so. The burn pierced through my flesh as the bullet searched for a place to exit. So here I am now, standing on the edge of a cliff with hues of brown and grey. I was expecting more of all of this. No bells, no whistles, no angels or unicorns to soothe the torture I thought I’d left behind.
My escape plan failed. Now what? Ginger clouds on the horizon and not another soul to be found. With a deep breath and sigh, a resignation lands on the half smirk on my face. I’m well aware that we humans can ***** up life but what the hell with death. A mere mortal soul left here to linger for all eternity playing memories over and over in my mind.
I died yesterday. It’s over rated. I see now the faces of the ones I left behind. I do feel bad for the ones that loved me more than I loved myself or life but some….wow. I can’t believe they had the nerve to even show up. I hope it makes them feel better. Mind ******* me while pulling my life force out like a taffy stick. Pulling until they got it all than had the nerve to swallow. It’s ok. There are plenty of people like me, bleeding hearts holding space for beauty in a Beetlejuice world. I hope the party celebrating my life with them cheers them up, poor people. The sorrow will be soon lost over a week or so when they realize they never were invested. Keep the flower you killed. I don’t have a vase.
I died yesterday. I’m sort of getting use to this. No one is ******* children, ******* animals, mutilating women’s genitals. No one is popping out kids just to get a government check and good God…yes God there is no politics. The best part is the silence. No cars, no honking, no ******* rap music. No parents screaming at their kids and Christ. A group of broken people sheeping it through that thing called life.
I died yesterday because I couldn’t hold the light for the world. I couldn’t even hold it or hope for me. It’s too ugly, too deep and too *****. I’ll just stay here in the middle and hope that they see me here. I’m not so bad, not to soul *****. Maybe just maybe I’ll be seen.
I die everyday.
My escape plan failed. Now what? Ginger clouds on the horizon and not another soul to be found. With a deep breath and sigh, a resignation lands on the half smirk on my face. I’m well aware that we humans can ***** up life but what the hell with death. A mere mortal soul left here to linger for all eternity playing memories over and over in my mind.
I died yesterday. It’s over rated. I see now the faces of the ones I left behind. I do feel bad for the ones that loved me more than I loved myself or life but some….wow. I can’t believe they had the nerve to even show up. I hope it makes them feel better. Mind ******* me while pulling my life force out like a taffy stick. Pulling until they got it all than had the nerve to swallow. It’s ok. There are plenty of people like me, bleeding hearts holding space for beauty in a Beetlejuice world. I hope the party celebrating my life with them cheers them up, poor people. The sorrow will be soon lost over a week or so when they realize they never were invested. Keep the flower you killed. I don’t have a vase.
I died yesterday. I’m sort of getting use to this. No one is ******* children, ******* animals, mutilating women’s genitals. No one is popping out kids just to get a government check and good God…yes God there is no politics. The best part is the silence. No cars, no honking, no ******* rap music. No parents screaming at their kids and Christ. A group of broken people sheeping it through that thing called life.
I died yesterday because I couldn’t hold the light for the world. I couldn’t even hold it or hope for me. It’s too ugly, too deep and too *****. I’ll just stay here in the middle and hope that they see me here. I’m not so bad, not to soul *****. Maybe just maybe I’ll be seen.
I die everyday.
