I’m afraid,
I’m afraid of love,
I’m afraid of loving you wholeheartedly,
I’m afraid of giving you all of me,
All of me mounted, packed and given to you
in that chip called love,
I’m afraid of uncertainties that lie ahead,
When, no! If I give my all self to you,
With all the hurt, unresolved conflicts,
misconfigured relationships,
Am a misfit when it comes to love,
I do love but I do it better on the defensive
edge because,
I’m afraid,
Afraid of getting out of this line and get hurt,
At least this lane makes me feel safe,
unafraid of the hurt,
They say pain hurts, and hope strengthens,
but fear drives faith,
I fear loving you with all my heart,
I fear letting you see that I can be vulnerable, and
I fear showing you all kinds of love I never was given,
Guess I’m now making false excuses,
I just didn’t want you to feel what was denied me,
Or better yet, saw no need of showing you,
And so,
I’m afraid I haven’t shown you the kind of love
a father has to have towards his children.