Zquil
Tumblr
Reading
Pacing
Eating
Crying
Chores
Journaling
Prayi­ng
Talking to myself
Ripping up old letters, photos
Drawing on myself

All of the above ensure I hit my bed exhausted, exhausted enough to fall asleep instantly so I don't have to lay here and wonder how we became strangers and how it's almost stranger that neither of us care to share that it's sad so we let it be, let it rest until none of that puts me to sleep and I sit here and drown in my thoughts, suffocated by the fact that it's all ******* over and the photos are mere memories and there won't be more photos, there won't be more memories to create because you are so far gone.

All of the above ensure I hit my bed, exhausted enough to fall asleep instantly so I don't have to feel and acknowledge that losing people is piercing my heart. Being numb and indifferent is so much easier when you're too tired to acknowledge how you really feel.

I keep busy during the day, tire myself out, and hope to God I'm so exhausted that I sleep for hours until I do it all over again. There's a solid 8 hours I don't have to acknowledge any of this is real and the sooner I'm there, the more numb I feel and at this rate I don't want to feel this at all.