it scares me when i get this way
my mind can shut off
i block it all out
and it suddenly feels like the real me

no goofiness fills these bones
no laughter in this soul
just numb
automatic hardship

it's like i've been through something
my souls been trying to come to terms with the last 22  years
it's like i've been trying to scream
yet when i sit and think my mind can't stop
my mouth can't speak
my words are weak

i'll laugh it off
giggly me
that's who they know
she's who i'll be