i feel like something is lost
something that has no name
no colour
no smell

i was shown my face today
i had to hear
what you did to me

i had carried myself
without crutches or aids
i had trodden quietly
where i could

i feel an immense loss
for the innocence you *****
the love you choked
the gifts you broke

if this is what i escaped,
why do i feel like grief?

i am cold
here
now
i dont want to remember
what you did
but i cant escape it either

the bloodlust in your eyes
the ****** in your hands
the physcial hurt
you bestowed upon me

i trusted you
with my life
and you throttled it
untill it died

i am stronger than then
i hope i am stronger than then
i think i am stronger than then
please, god, let me be stronger than then

why do i feel like something has died?
when i have won by leaving your abuse?

maybe,
the death of my self-image
the mask i thought had worked

they saw through it all
and they knew
that you were drowning me

and now they see
how i am shining
away from your shadow

maybe, now
i can have my watershed