i'm back to this weird state of mind
this "notice me, notice me,"
"love me, love me," desire-
it burns my throat, makes my heart sink,
because you don't and you won't.
and i'd hope that one day
you'll realize what i've been trying to tell you,
put together the puzzle i made for you
and read my thoughts line for line,
understand what i've been trying to tell you
for so many days, so many weeks, so many months.

isn't it obvious, dear?

i thought i'd made myself clear enough
without using the words explicitly.
i hoped that i came off subtle
because i don't want to overwhelm you,
but i've found that i'm quite good at that
and i don't mean to be, not at all.

i've tried to construct the words
to tell you what you mean to me,
to tell you how much i need you,
show you what you've done for me,
prove your worth and your value,
but there's no combination,
no pretty little string of letters
that could ever do my thoughts justice,
and it'd all go over your head anyway.

and i'm caught in this weird funk
where my emotions override all thought
and my thoughts take over everything else,
and i'm torn inside out, listening to that little voice
scream and shout -- why don't these words just come about?
and i'd like them to, i'd like them out in the open,
but it'd be weird, right? things already are to begin with.

so why worry, right?

i'd hate to mess things up further.
so i'll keep it all to myself,
let it fester within until
i can no longer bear it
and i've no other choice
but to come right out and share it.