happy thoughts, happy thoughts
all i have is happy thoughts.
happy thoughts of what i’d be if hate and love
and bitter and sweet would swap their place inside to out,
but that’s not how it works, I know.
it takes long to change and longer to grow
into a person who understands the reason to live. not to live,
but to live!
like the end of a 90’s flick, making the most of each day
a lie in itself, but nevertheless
to chase what’s sweet and toss the trash without regret.
the heafty satin baggage claiming to be happy thoughts
but so far from it hurts to laugh
not like joy but like running to death
or be killed otherwise,
to the edge of the earth,
where if we are lucky, we won’t have to do it again.