really don't
feel so good
pain i feel
not understood
images i see
i wonder how
i can keep being me
images of death
gun on the table
i see the trigger
but i'm not able
to go to the store
and purchase a rifle
go home
sit on the couch
and blow my brains out
i don't have the power
don't have the courage
the only thing i can do
is live and continue
and hope that I feel
a better way
I know tomorrow
has got to be better
than this *******
that I deal with
on a daily basis
I feel like
the pain that I feel
how I was treated
continually misled
******* got fed
and all in the end
I ended up with nothing
an empty hand
alone in the house
phone silent
no one calling
no one caring
I'm here crying
why can't this be easier
something like dying
all I can think of
are thoughts that bleed
from my stomach
and into my heart
misery it feeds
thought after thought
of the evils that dwell
in my mind
so much hate
I can't even tell
all I remember
is the hurt that was caused
things said so caustically
casually
flippantly
disgustingly
like
my family is weird
that one hurt the most
it burns so bad
makes me want to get out of my seat
find you in the street
grab you by the throat
and choke and choke and choke
until you can't breathe
I'll do you the worst
by letting you live
in your disgusting existence
that's the best revenge i can give
other than forgiveness
I guess I'll just post this
take another breath
stop thinking death
and ask for forgiveness
just gotta dismiss this
it's so hard to forgive this
I don't want to live this