I’ve never let anyone in
At least not all of the way
The door is open, but only part of the way
They can step inside but
The most important door is locked
On those nights when everything is dark
When I know I’m mediocre at best
When there’s a flood of tears
And I can’t give a reason to them
When I yell in my head
Asking God why he gave me this
Why he made me so **** breakable
I don’t mind the broken bones
The scars make us who we are
It’s the ones inside I can’t stand
The ones behind the door that’s locked
Even the things I thought I was good at
Mediocre is the word of the day
But it’s only at night
These demons come crawling in
When the world seems to shrink and expand infinitely
And I can’t see the end
But feel the edges creeping closer
When I can’t breathe for fear of poison
But it’s already there, in my head
In that room I keep away from everyone
The poison is a part of me
And I just wait for it to **** me
But maybe it will just stay there
I’m too mediocre for it to care
Whether I live or die