I seem to think that if I start to wear a hole in the carpet I’ll have cleared my head but it always seems like I just end up with blisters on my feet and more holes in my chest than in the ground. And it’s hard because I feel like I am forcing myself to get over something that one does not simply get over in one night for someone who I should have given the time of day to years ago. It would have made my life much simpler but yet here I am stuck walking back and forth with nothing in my hands or my heart that makes any sense to me at all. I feel mostly empty and the walls are starting to look kind of sad and maybe if I scream loud enough the echoes will be the glue that keeps my mask together because ****** I’m trying my best to be strong. And I’m caught in a web of who knows what just hoping that I can see straight long enough to make the right decisions and who knows if my vision is even correct. I might need glasses, soul glasses. Clarity is something I struggle with and unfortantely no amount of back and forth is going to help me in any way but I would like to think it does. The path on the carpet is softer than the rest and maybe because of that I think about how this path is making my life feel more soft on my feet also. The blisters are just here to remind me that takes work. But I don’t want to work I wish everything turned out the way I thought it would a couple months ago, but life is never that simple. I did realize that I loved you for the way we interacted while both being ourselves and although I can do that with a lot of people with you it was different and the connection we had I will never get back with anyone. My music teacher told me that you never really get over anyone and I am starting to think that is true but how can I move on if this isn’t ever over?
I want to wait for you but everyone and everything is telling me I shouldn’t
I almost fell to the ground when I saw you yesterday
Love is tearing me apart